It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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