This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
