Having a random hookup so left but love u
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
