And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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