It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
