Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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