Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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