She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
