Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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