O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
