did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
