she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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