It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
