Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
