As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
