Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
