Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
