Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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