He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
