my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
