you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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