no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
