Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
