Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
