I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
