yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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