He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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