Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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