Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
