Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
