he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
