And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
