Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
