Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
