my mouth tastes like poor choices
Sober January is a disaster.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize