yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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