How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
