he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize