That's intense
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
