Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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