He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
