Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
