just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
