I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
