NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
