So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
