Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
