you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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