Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
