Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
