Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
