So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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