Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
