biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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