Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
