oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize