its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
