Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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