i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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