We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
