its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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