I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize