I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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