"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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