someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
