Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
